Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Media Bored With BP Oil Spill

As expected, the BP Oil Spill in the Gulf is losing momentum amongst the news media. Other things like black-clad jackasses in Toronto at the G20 are taking center stage. Brad and Angelina might adopt another. Lindsay Lohan got drunk again, and no, she did not get another tattoo. Soccer (Football everywhere off our continent) has taken center stage. Miley Cyrus might play the closing ceremony of the World Cup, no doubt grasping at her crotch in an effort to tell the world that she's a big girl now.

Sadly, our Pop Culture is shallow. It's about everything that doesn't matter, and everything we don't want our kids to see, do, eat, drink, or listen to. Brangelina doesn't matter. Let Lindsay drink herself into a stupor. Slow down Miley or you'll regret it. Anarchists don't deserve our attention. Soccer is a game.

The media relations team at British Petroleum is breathing a collective sigh of relief knowing that if they can keep the flow of oil under half a million gallons a day and they don't fuck anything else up (and their chairman keeps his mouth shut) then they might come out of this thing with their tanks full. After all, people are still buying their gas. Even in the United States. What is wrong with that picture? Americans pulling up to BP pumps in their domestic gas gulpers. They should all take a vacation and go swimming on a Louisiana beach. BP product won't cost them a dime there.

Of course there is a new man at the helm. An American. Right accent. Right clothes. He'll set things right. Get the job done. Brilliant move by BP. Give 'em one of their own, that'll shut 'em up. After all, Americans are suspicious of any foreigner. Imagine if they had assigned a man named Abdullah from their Saudi operations to oversee the Gulf spill. Even if he had the resume he would be lynched.

BP wants more than anything for this tragedy to end. Their survival is absolutely dependent upon it. But let's be real. They will employ every possible cost cutting measure. They will cut every possible corner. They will deny responsibility at every viable opportunity. They will lobby. They will spin.

And you can bet that that's what caused the mess in the first place.

The media needs to focus on what matters. The public needs to focus on what matters. This isn't Hollywood. This isn't a game. It's not teenage angst. This is real-life.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Curse of Sarah Palin

The US Constitution entitles it's citizens to Freedom of Speech, a right shared by we Canadian neighbors. There is also the unwritten right shared by both countries citizens to disregard verbal diarrhea of complete idiots. Yet we cannot ignore Sarah. She is like an itchy rash. We know if we scratch it, it will only get worse. It will spread. It will itch more. She simply relies on shock value to keep herself in the forefront by saying stupid things.

Recently she posted this on Twitter "Extreme Enviros: Drill, Baby, Drill in ANWR – Now Do You Get It?"

Well Sarah, what does ANWR stand for? (Pause.....thinking hard.....Katie Couric waiting patiently. Don't hold your breath.....)

ARCTIC NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE, Sarah.


Wildlife? the pint-size soccer Mom reflects. We're hunters in Alaska! I can handle a rifle!


Refuge? hmmm, wink, wink. That's where we can get lots of 'em cause they think they're safe there! But I'm a crack shot.


So why not drill in a wildlife refuge Sarah? Sorry, you're not qualified to answer that question.


Scratch, Scratch......sorry I can't help it.